Smijesna istina

[nerv]

OVAN

Posao: Ako vas ne uhvate kupite i meni nesto.
Ljubav: Ocekuje vas prijatno vece. Izlazite vi, vasa devojka i njen decko.
Zdravlje: Njen decko je snazan, pripremite flastere.



BIK

Posao: Ukoliko jutros ustanete iz kreveta, obavicete veliki broj poslova u kupatilu.
Ljubav: Pripazite, voljena osoba vam krisom busi kondome.
Zdravlje: Sida se preko klozetske solje prenosi tako sto na istu sednete, a prethodnik jos nije ustao.



BLIZANCI

Posao: Nemoj da brigas zivot se stara, dok bude ljudi bice i para.
Ljubav: Ukoliko pola sata sedite na svojoj levoj ruci, ona ce dejstvovati kao tudja.
Zdravlje: Mislite na svoju levu ruku.



RAK

Posao: Razmislite da li naplacujete adekvatnu cenu za ruke.
Ljubav: Ne mesajte posao i emocije.
Zdravlje: Mislite i na svoju desnu ruku.



LAV

Posao: Posao vam ne da da mislite na ljubav.
Ljubav: Ljubav vam ne da da mislite na posao. Cime se vi to, pobogu, bavite?
Zdrvalje: Cesta promena partnera izaziva rak materice.



DEVICA

Posao: Domacice manje zbori da ti rucak ne izgori.
Ljubav: Ne radujte se uzalud etnickom ciscenju, ono ovaj put nece doneti i organizovano silovanje.
Zdravlje:Uz ratna i mirnodopska odlikovanja neizostavno idu polna i venericna oboljenja.



VAGA

Posao: Ocekuje vas ogroman finansijski dobitak. Veceras.
Ljubav: Srescete partnera svog zivota. Veceras.
Zdravlje: Na zalost, mozdani udar. Predvece.



SKORPIJA

Posao: Ne mesate se u svoj posao.
Ljubav: Ljubav prema otadzbini vam nije uzvracena.
Zdravlje: Krajnje je vreme da se resite pletenica pod pazuhom.



STRELAC

Posao: Zbog posla cesto odsustvujete od kuce.
Ljubav: Vas partner svakodnevno trazi izgovor u glavobolji.
Zdravlje: Osecate li roznata zadebljanja na glavi?



JARAC

Posao: Za poslovne neuspehe utehu trazite u picu.
Ljubav: On ili ona nikako da izadju iz vase case.
Zdravlje: Ne sekirajte se, jetra je organ koji se regenerise.



VODENJAK

Posao: Uprkos naporima na poslu je sve naopako.
Ljubav: Osobe suprotnog pola prosto bjeze od vas.
Bjeze i osobe istog pola.
Zdravlje: Da li ste vi mozda genije?



RIBE

Posao: Posao cveta, bili su praznici i kontejneri su puni.
Ljubav: Ukoliko pozurite do kioska sa giricama, iskoristicete jedinstvenu priliku da i vi capite neku ribu.
Zdravlje: Muci vas: zadah iz usta, gljivice na nogama, znojenje pod pazuhom kao i cerumen iz usiju i hemoroidi i
bubuljice po nosu, te cirevi po kozi, celulit, kao i mnoga polna i venericna oboljenja, a i opadanje kose, grcevi u
zelucu. Ne gubite nadu, bar nesto mozete spasiti. Ukoliko posle svakog cesljanja kosu iz ceslja stavite u kesu;
kroz izvesno vreme cete je imati sacuvanu - u kesi.

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